


Yours and Mine

by Wagnetic



Category: The Eagle | The Eagle of the Ninth (2011)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, M/M, Possessive Behavior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-06
Updated: 2013-09-06
Packaged: 2017-12-25 19:03:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/956588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wagnetic/pseuds/Wagnetic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Young Marcus is very fond of Esca, and he's never seen him as just another slave. But as they both grow, their relationship changes, and Marcus doesn't know what to make of it until he learns to take Esca's perspective.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yours and Mine

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think it merits an "underage" warning, but there are some non-explicit references to teenage sexuality. If that makes you uncomfortable, you might want to skip this one.
> 
> For the Eagle Fanmedia Challenge, inspired by the picture of the cage.

Marcus has been living with his uncle for what feels like an eternity, mourning the loss of his father and adjusting to his near-useless leg, when his uncle brings home a new slave. The boy is unkempt and feral-looking. His face is all angles and even his expression is sharp, but something in his eyes doesn’t quite match the rest of him, though Marcus can’t tell what. Despite his better judgment, Marcus is charmed. He is pleased when his uncle says that the boy is called Esca and that he’s to be Marcus’s. The fact that Marcus still requires assistance to move from place to place at anything faster than a pathetic hobble is humiliating, but at least Marcus will have his own slave to lean on. He supposes this is better than relying on his uncle’s old slave, though he wonders if Esca will be able to hold him up, boney and underfed as he is.

Esca surprises him from the first. That first night, Marcus is unable to sleep, and so he makes his way around his uncle’s land. He prefers to wander at night anyway. His pace is still shamefully slow, but at least he’s learned how to move quietly, and with no one to watch him limping, the night is almost peaceful. Unaccountably, Marcus is drawn to the stables tonight. He’s been avoiding them since he arrived, but he will have to face them at some point, and it may as well be at night. If he shows any fear, at least no one will witness it, and tonight is as good a night as any. Except when he creeps tentatively into the building, he isn’t alone. He doesn’t hear it at first, but as he stands quietly, he can just make out the sound of shaking breath. Esca, he thinks. It must be. At least he isn’t the only one afraid tonight.

“Come out, then,” he says. “I can hear you. I can’t catch you if you run, but someone else will, and then it will be far worse. If they catch you, they’ll brand you and beat you, or even kill you. If you come out now, I can protect you.” He’s not sure why he makes that offer, since surely he doesn’t owe the boy anything, but he doesn’t regret saying it. There’s a moment of near-silence, but Marcus can be patient. At last, Esca steps from the shadows, and his breath is still uneven, but his head is held high.

“What is my punishment to be, then?” he asks, and it’s the first time Marcus has heard him speak.

“Nothing, though I can’t promise the same if you try to escape again and someone else finds you.”

Esca looks at him for a long time, and then the boy draws a dagger on him. Marcus is surprised to find that he feels more disappointed than afraid, but then Esca throws the knife at his feet. Marcus glances down at it and then stares pointedly at Esca. He’s certainly not going to bend down to pick it up for him. If Esca wants it back he can get it himself. Esca huffs out a breath, sounding like a frustrated horse. Like Marcus’s stallion in Clusium, he thinks: the one that threw him and trampled his leg.

“It was my father’s,” Esca says. “I have two things left of him: his knife and his honor.” It’s a challenge, Marcus knows. Esca’s waiting for him to say that a slave, especially one who would attempt escape, has no honor. Well, let him wait. Marcus intends to be a kind master, as his father was. When Esca realizes that Marcus has no reply for him, he continues. “I hate you as much as the rest of your people, but you’ve showed me a kindness that others wouldn’t, so as long as you keep your word, I’ll serve you. If you turn me in, though, know that I’ll do everything in my power to see that you suffer for it.”

“You’re not the only one with honor,” Marcus huffs.  “I don’t break my word.” And for some reason, he finds himself smiling at the grim expression on Esca’s face. “Come on,” Marcus says. “Pick up your father’s dagger and help me back to my bed. You can set up a pallet on the floor and if anyone’s noticed you were gone, I’ll tell them I wanted you close by in case my leg cramped up in the night.” 

* * *

 

In the time that follows, Esca becomes a great comfort to Marcus, and not only because of the physical aid he provides. Esca also provides him with companionship. He speaks plainly to Marcus in a way that no other slave would, but he is hound-loyal so Marcus doesn’t mind. He even allows Esca to call him by name, despite his uncle’s clucking. Sometimes, when both boys are sleepless, they trade stories. Some are from their own lives and some are tales passed down to them, but all become a very pleasant way to spend hours in the dark.

Sometimes Esca does stupid things and Marcus can’t understand why. Esca periodically disobeys Marcus’s uncle, and though Marcus does what he can to intervene on Esca’s behalf, he’s only a boy himself. Esca takes his calmly and never speaks of any of it afterwards. Marcus scolds him for his stupidity, but Esca never hears it. There are no stories on those nights, and no blunt words either. It makes Marcus uneasy.

Marcus sometimes forgets that Esca is his slave. When they walk together, they are as a single person and when they speak, they are as brothers. Marcus teaches Esca to carve little wooden animals, and Esca teaches Marcus to say their names in his language. Marcus is always more comfortable in Esca’s presence. They are friends, Marcus supposes. He thinks it will always be like this with them.

And then, things are different. It starts with Marcus noticing how Esca has grown from a scrawny little boy into something healthy and strong. Esca looks just as fierce as he did when they first met, but now his eyes are kinder when he looks at Marcus and his voice isn’t quite as sharp. His voice is deeper, too, and sometimes the sound of it makes Marcus shiver. Marcus sees that, like him, Esca is nearly a grown man, and it is strange. He doesn’t understand why this should upset him, but the sensation it causes in him is something like anger. Something like anger, and something like the state he sometimes finds himself in these days, especially in dreams and upon waking.

If he finds himself commanding Esca far more than he used to, he supposes it is because he is no longer a soft-hearted boy. He doesn’t like to see Esca at ease anymore. Esca should be working harder, he thinks. He can’t just let his slave come and go as he pleases when Marcus has no particular use for him. Marcus finds tasks for him, and if they keep Esca in his sight, that’s just as well. He’ll be able to tell if Esca has one of his strange bouts of rebelliousness.

Esca looks at him less now, and speaks to him less too, and it makes Marcus angrier and angrier until he doesn’t quite know what to do with himself. There are still nights when they both lie awake, but there are no stories anymore, and it’s on one of these nights that Marcus decides that they cannot continue this way.

“What’s wrong with you, Esca?” he snaps, and Esca turns over on his cot so he can look at Marcus.

“Nothing’s wrong with me.”

“Don’t even try to lie to me. I know you, and you haven’t been yourself.”

"It’s nothing,” Esca says. His voice is flat and blank.”

“Stop it. Tell me the truth.”

“It doesn’t matter, Marcus. You don’t want to know.”

It makes Marcus reel to hear Esca say so. It makes him furious and his voice comes out sharp and low and wrong. “You think I don’t know what I want?”

“I don’t know what to think!” And here, at last, is an Esca Marcus knows. It’s the stupid, rebellious Esca who gets himself punished, but it’s a start at least, and Esca doesn’t seem to be slowing down. “You used to treat me as your friend, if not your equal, and though I’ve always hated being a slave, I didn’t mind serving you. Now you bark orders even once I’ve done all you’ve asked of me and I never hear a kind word. I was foolish enough to trust you all this time, but I should have known you’d grow up to be just another Roman.”

“You’re… unhappy?” The idea hadn’t really occurred to Marcus. Esca was a slave, _his_ slave, and that was simply his role. He had thought that as long as he was a kind, generous master, Esca would be content. Now the idea seems ridiculous, but he’d never stopped to question it before.

“Of course I’m unhappy,” Esca says. “Do you think this is the life I wanted?”

For a while, Marcus says nothing, only looks at Esca. He thinks of his recent anger, and of the sick feeling in his stomach whenever Esca is too far away. At last, he says, “I don’t understand it.”

“That much is clear,” Esca replies. He huffs a little laugh and his voice is full of harsh amusement.

“How long have you been unhappy, Esca?”

“How long have I been a slave?”

“But you used to be content! When we were smaller and we told each other stories so many nights, you used to be content. I know you were.” His voice sounds so young in his own ears. He’s behaving like a boy, and not like the man he’s nearly become, but he can’t seem to control it.

But if he is acting like a child, then so is Esca. “You don’t know anything. You know that you thought I was content because you were such a good master and I was just a slave. You never thought of what you would feel in my place.”

Desperate now, Marcus says the only the only thing he can. He looks Esca in the eye and asks, “Were we never friends, then?”

“We were friends,” Esca allows. “Before you wanted me, we were friends.”

“But I’ve always wanted you.”

Esca shakes his head, smiling ruefully. “You really don’t understand, do you?” It doesn’t really sound like a question at all. “There are different kinds of wanting, Marcus. You are not so naive that you don’t know all the uses men find for their slaves. If you were a grown man and I was as I am now, you’d understand.”

“I-” And then Marcus realizes that of course Esca is right. He ought to have known, but… “We were as brothers once. That is not a thing that brothers do.”

“So that’s why you’ve been emphasizing that you are a free Roman and I’m only a slave.”

“No! Yes. I haven’t known. I never thought…” But somewhere hidden, he had known. Of course he had known. “I won’t do it again. You know I’ve always thought highly of your honor.” And it is hard to say the words to a slave, but easy to tell Esca, “I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you, Marcus.”

There’s an easy silence between them after that, but Marcus breaks it one last time to ask, “Do you think we can be brothers again?”

More empty space, then Esca’s reply. “That’s for you to decide.” 

* * *

 

Marcus tries to think of Esca as he used to, but he can’t. He doesn’t overwork Esca, and now he tells Esca all the stories he can think of, but the wanting doesn’t stop. It frustrates and disgusts him. They are friends again, and no man should look at his friend the way Marcus looks at Esca, but Marcus can’t stop looking. If Esca were just a slave without honor, it might be a different matter, but Esca is so much more than that. Esca is everything.

It becomes all but unbearable at night. Marcus lies on his bed, trying not to look at Esca and thinking of all the things he would like to do. He wants to bring Esca to his bed or to sink down on Esca’s cot. He’d keep Esca close then, and though nothing could ever be close enough, he’d feel the warmth of Esca’s skin and Esca would be strong and solid in his arms. Esca would feel even more solid with his body resting atop Marcus’s, and they’d be so close if Marcus could pin him down, gather him tight… That is not a brotherly thought, and Esca deserves much more than this. Marcus tries to think of nothing, tries to sleep, but his dreams persist and he wakes ashamed and hoping desperately that somehow Esca will have noticed nothing.

Esca does seem to notice, but he smiles and looks at him fondly, and he almost looks as though he were pleased. Perhaps he thinks Marcus is dreaming of some girl and he is glad to be free from Marcus’s attentions. Every now and then, Marcus thinks he sees Esca looking at him, but now he’s learned just how easy it is for him to see whatever he wants to see, and so he dismisses the looks. Esca doesn’t want Marcus to want him, after all. He’s made that clear enough.

Marcus still has the urge to keep Esca in his sight, but he resists it. He may not be able to control his thoughts or his body, but at least he can chose to stay silent. He comes to recognize the urge as a form of possessiveness, but he’s never seen Esca as a mere possession. He has to make sure that he never treats Esca that way again. There is only one thing he can think to do, and so, in the relative safety of daylight, he calls Esca to him.

“My uncle has told me that he will give you to me when I am a man.” Marcus bites at his lip, but continues quickly, before he loses his resolve and before Esca can interpret his words the wrong way. “He will think I am ungrateful, perhaps, but when you are mine, I’ll free you.” Esca looks stunned and is silent. “I want you to be happy.”

“You would do that for me?”

Marcus wants to say that he’d do anything for Esca, but that wouldn’t help either of them so he just says, “Yes.”

“Even though I could leave your uncle’s home, make my own way, and never return to you?”

“Yes.”

Esca smiles at him then, a wider smile than Marcus has ever seen on his face. “Perhaps I’ll take you with me,” he says, “And we can live in the forest, far from Rome.”

“I don’t think I could do that,” Marcus says, sorrowfully. “I don’t know how to live in the wild like your people.” And even if he could, it wouldn’t make him stop wanting Esca.

“My people have towns too.”

“They’d never let me enter.”

Esca looks him over, though Marcus doesn’t know what he’s searching for. “You plan to become a soldier, like your father?”

“You know I can’t, and even if I could be one… No.”

“Then what will you do?”

Marcus wants to say “I’ll miss you,” or “I’ll wish I’d gone with you” but he knows better. “I don’t know,” he says.

“Well, you have time to decide. I doubt your uncle will be desperate to be rid of you.”

“Will you really go?” Marcus asks, and promised himself he wouldn’t ask it, but he wasn’t prepared for just how much this conversation would hurt.

“For a while,” Esca says, smiling. “But don’t think I wouldn’t come back for you.”

Marcus looks down, keeping his eyes far from Esca’s. “It was a foolish question and I shouldn’t have asked. If you come back, I’ll still be the same. I have tried, but I can’t stop it. If you come back, I’ll want you all over again.”

“I know that,” Esca says, and Marcus starts at the words. Esca grasps his chin and lifts it up enough so Marcus can meet his eyes, and that touch alone is enough to make Marcus’s breath catch. “You’re still not thinking, Marcus. Has it never occurred to you that I might have wants as well?”

“But you said you didn’t want me,” Marcus protests, though his voice comes out thin and cracked.

“I never said that. I told you I didn’t want you to treat me the way you were.” His face is so close to Marcus’s, and it’s still full of odd angles after all this time, and Marcus is desperate to be closer, to touch, but he knows better than to reach out and take.

“You’d really let me…?”

Esca kisses him then, and it’s just the slightest brush of lips against lips, but it’s wonderful and sweet and it renders him utterly senseless, so all he can do is stare at Esca with hopeful eyes when Esca speaks. “I’ve been yours since you found me in the stable that first night. When I’m free, I’ll still be yours, only then you’ll be mine, too.”

It goes against everything Marcus knows of relations between men, but it also makes perfect sense. Even if it is shameful, Marcus wants that for them. He wants them to be equal, even if it makes them both lower than other men. If he’s learned anything from Esca, it’s that there is honor that goes unseen by Rome. Maybe there is a kind of honor in this too. The idea of being with Esca that way doesn’t disgust him like he’s been taught that it should. First and foremost, they are friends, and friendships are reciprocal.

The only thing Marcus can say is, “Yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> Having your leg stepped on by a horse isn't all that bad if the horse doesn't step on a bone and you have access to modern medicine (I know this from experience!) but I figured it could probably do a lot of damage without proper care. Since this was pretty rushed, it's all hand-wavey guesswork.


End file.
